RANSVESTIA

"Five inches was the highest I could find-hope they'll do," Kathy replied, pulling a pair of shiny black patent pumps from the box. She quickly slipped them onto Ted's feet. "Just the right size. I'm glad we keep a complete record of all our agents' body measurements."

Seemingly eager to try walking in his new footwear, Ted gingerly stood up. After a brief pause to gain confidence in the strange balance of his body, he began to walk rather shakily around the office.

"Take smaller steps and keep your feet pointed straight,” Kathy ad- vised him.

Afther completing a few circuits around the desk without stumbling, Ted grinned at Harry. "I think I'm getting the hang of it now. Watch this." Ted minced down the whole length of the office, making his heels clack rhythmically on the plastic tile floor. The flounce on his panties shook. Reaching the door, he turned to face Harry, then threw his arms in the air and wriggled his torso.

"Wheeee!" he cried, a ridiculously happy drool on his face.

"That's just great, Ted. Brilliant piece of acting-fits the shrink's description of the way these weirdos behave to a Tee. I think you are ready to go on your mission now."

"I wish you had let me get him a complete outfit," Kathy lamented, showing considerable disappointment, “I could fix him up so even you would whistle at him.”

"No, Kathy, he's got to get the rest of the stuff for himself. Must learn all the sneaky tricks a real FP-as they refer to themselves-uses to get his hands on women's clothes and cosmetics. They've got to believe he's just as screwy as they are. Here, Ted, take the report with you- it's full of pointers on how to lie about poor sick mothers or wives in wheelchairs."

Ted took the thick stack and leafed through it, pausing for about one second on each page. He handed it back to Harry.

"Don't you want to keep it?” Harry was dumbfounded.

Ted smiled confidently. "I've got it all up here," tapping his skull.

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